8/03/2014

pollen

Hello there! It's been a minute!

What have I been up to in the intervening months? Quite a bit, actually. First off, I'm single now (and  a million times happier) and no I am not going to answer any questions, so please don't ask. 

2. I joined the staff at Rookie, and it's been the most wonderful experience. I write things and do photos. You can see my contributions here. I'm especially proud of the editorial that I shot and styled last month. It's inspired me to pick my up 35mm camera again and never let it go.




2. I'm also a contributing photographer at Majestic Disorder magazine. The print mag is available everywhere, do pick up a copy, it's really a special publication. There's so much wisdom and heart that goes into the stories and interviews. I feel lucky to have the opportunity to add even a little bit of my work with the rest of the supremely talented staff.




3. I dyed half of my hair pink, because I fucking felt like it. Don't know how long it's going to stay like this; originally I'd intended to keep it for the summer but I think I may extend its life into the fall. Thanks to Sheba at Sparrow for rocketing me into the babezone. 



4. This year has been a great one for spooky music. The new album July by Marissa Nadler is one my particular favorites. A dear friend sent me a copy of it, and I fell in love so quickly that I purchased it on vinyl the day it was released. The remastered reissued vinyl LPs of Blue Bell Knoll and Heaven or Las Vegas are also dreams come true. I also quite like the albums Psychic 9-5 Club by HTRK and Second Launch by Bremen. Living alone makes listening to scary ambient tunes feel much more of a internalized, subterranean experience. Light some candles, burn frankincense, drink wine, get high, and watch the shadows dance across the walls.




5. I usually do one performance piece each year, and this year I performed the suit of Swords at my coven's art show. Real swords were impossible to utilize, so I substituted them with white roses. In conceptualizing the piece I had every intention of removing myself as much as possible from each tableau - I wanted to become the spirit of each card and cast aside my psychic character. But after performing the piece three times that night, I felt thoroughly emotionally exhausted, as though I'd been sobbing for hours. The next day I slept past noon. Evidently I let my mind become more attached to the piece than I'd intended. In that sense, I suppose I failed in my original vision but I hope that any bit of myself that came out in the performance only made it more interesting.




6. My style is much simpler now. After years of complicated garments and nausea-inducing prints, I just want to wear black and blue and band tees and FLAT SHOES. I also dress ~sexier~ now, presumably because I'm single, but mostly because I just feel so fucking confident. I recognize my cuteness, I revel in my babe status. And I feel really good about the person I am. 




I'm honestly unsure if I'll continue to update this thing. I'm spending so much time just living, and doing things, and plotting even more things to do, that writing in this blog seems anticlimatic when I think about it. Sure, I could wax and wane about the utterly depressing state of blogging these days, a state it has been in since, well, since I began this thing four years ago. But that feels too self-serving. I make a conscious decision every day to extend compassion as much as I can, and with that comes excision of hate, so I won't regurgitate the same points as others have done so much better than myself. In all honestly, the free things and perks never once mattered to me when compared against what was most important - writing as truthfully as I could about fashion from my point of view. That's all I wanted to do. And maybe now I want to do other things - continue striving for depth in my writing, push myself in my photography, learn to play guitar, and live joyfully. I'm in the midst of a very beautiful time in my life, and I want to spread my arms out wide and enjoy every second of it. Thanks to every one of you who has ever read thing - you mean the world to me, and know that I love you. Maybe I'll be back, maybe not, but please keep in touch. I wish you all the very best.

13 comments:

Alicia - Sea Of Ghosts said...

You're wonderful and I just adore everything about this post.
I hope one day we run into each other on our travels :)

meagan said...

dearest alicia, that makes two of us <3

Amanda said...

I've always enjoyed reading, the beautiful photos, and the soundtracks, but I totes get being done too. Go be glorious, best of best.

Shelby Nicole said...

I'm so stoked for you! I hope you pop by every once and while to do more 'this is where i've been' posts because you are a great creator and I love seeing your stuff. Now I'll have to start stalking rookie religiously again...

Matthew Pike said...

take it easy my friend, whatever you end up doing.

Buckets & Spades

Meagan said...

god, ultimate babe. you sound so confident and happy!!! keep being. <33

claudia, dearest said...

Congratulations! And if you go (hope you don't though), we'll miss you.

Thank you for existing and sharing yourself with the world. <3

Jenna Opsahl said...

Congrats on your Rookie job and your magazine contributions! That's so exciting and what I hope to be doing soon as well! Also your performance piece sounds amazing. And hell yes to your new style, you look rad.

xx
scarlettandgiselle.blogspot.com

kani a. said...

i'm so happy you decided to share these snippets of your incredible self on this blog and i'm even happier that you life is going in such a POSITIVE direction!

//kani

Ria Michelle said...

omg you look like such a babe!

xx

FAIIINT said...

Massive congratulations on the new job & contributions, the editorial is beautiful! Thanks for introducing me to Marissa Nadler too.
It's so nice to hear you're having such an amazing time right now & that everything is going in such a positive direction, enjoy it & I hope it only continues to get better for you! :)

MaggleBish said...

Glad to hear you're happy! I'm pretty sure I saw you at the Jackson blue line station a week or so ago...

darcy dubose said...

XO