a flower to hide

(vintage jacket and skirt, venessa arizaga necklace, fever ray t-shirt from a stranger...read the story here)

  catherine wheel - black metallic

I am having a paisley moment. I say moment, as if it's just a passing trend or a fleeting idea, but in truth I've always had a love for this delicate design. A story? At 19 I found myself living in a decayed wooden room with walls that sagged sadly, or shrugged?, asking me why I still lived there, why hadn't I moved on, what was I so afraid of? I knew the answer of course: I was afraid of being alone. In those days, I filled my (slowly) passing time with an abattoir of Catherine Wheel and collecting paisley-printed things from the thrift store. I can ruefully recall a most ravishing dress I'd found at Goodwill, ochre with hints of maroon, besotted with paisley, adorned with button down its length, buttons that ultimately became a cunning trap. But for the moment, wearing that dress made me feel okay. The simple paisley teardrops resembled my own tears and at that time, and I shed many of them. I felt some comfort in wearing my sadness. But ultimately to me, paisley represents a kind of quiet strength; stunted character upon defeat, whispery guard rather than retreat. And so, at 26, the skirt in some ways pays respect that dress that unintentionally helped me through a profoundly difficult time. Hindsight truly is 20/20.

goldenrod

(blouse by/from risto, ebay'd horace sweater, thrifted skirt, alexander wang shoes)

Yesterday I dressed up as a sort of goth grandma, or in other words, what I envision my personal Advanced Style to be like one day. At 26 1/2 I still have my youth but every year it slips further from my grasp and time, vicious time, taunts me from dreams and photographs and piles of regrets. It's true that one musn't dwell upon those long-extinguished flames of the past but with each passing year I seem more unable to stop myself from doing so. Maybe it's a natural part of shedding youth. I suppose that one part of getting older is simply coming to terms with the end of halcyon days, but truthfully, my youth wasn't idyllic at all. Perhaps when I am much older I'll find that my most blissful moments are those taking place right now.  

you need to give me more texture

Sometimes fashion and fashion blogging and fashunthis and fashunthat gets all caught up in the name that's stamped on a label inside a neckline. Admittedly, I do this too (ugh h8 myself), but at least I am immediately grossed out with myself for even caring, and proceed to put on pajama pants and "borrow" one of my boyfriend's t-shirts. And by borrow I mean, of course, I wear it once and relegate it to the hellhole known as my hamper until boyfriend sadly wonders aloud where his favorite Ride t-shirt went.

So removing context and discovering the basis of a garment is a great way to fall in love with your pieces all over again. Prints and textures say so much about style and taste in a way that is regrettably overlooked. My style primarily tends towards black things in a rich texture that is eye-catching and romantic, while my prints are hazy shoegaze dreams. I find that I gravitate towards anything that is ethereal, which goes for fashion, music, art, literature, and so on.

What do your favorite prints and textures say about you?

puke-a-tronic

(comme des garcons jacket, leggings and white button-down from the thrift store, givenchy glasses)

Last weekend I found myself scattered between a performance art performance involving transistor radios and capes made from CDs, and wearing a tulle headpiece amongst an apartment full of kitsch while I lip synced for my friends' music video . I really enjoy visiting the homes of others that resemble a Tchotchke's/Chili's/Flinger's, ie, campy shit all over the walls. Maybe it's because there's a kind of voyeuristic aspect to examining novel trinkets and bric-a-brac that I'm not used to seeing everyday, especially since when it comes to decorating my apartment, my worldly possessions could fit in the corner of a single room. Much of my late teens and twenties were nomadic, half by choice, half by escapist life necessity. But luckily these days I have stability enough to stay in one place! Life Achievement Unlocked.

I'm wearing my first CdG, a half-jacket I bought in NYC a couple weekends ago. I have a ton of styling ideas for this thing. Buying clothes from now on will be done so if the question "can I wear this with my half-jacket?" being answered the in the affirmative. Big black glasses and minimal makeup because I wanted to look decidedly not-sexy. And this vintage tulle headpiece, which I borrowed to film my portion of the music video. Yes, I'll post the video as soon as it is released! As long as you all promise to not make too much fun of me. 

holygrapie

So, I bought a fragrance? I've never worn a scent before so this is kind of a big deal for me? I haven't the foggiest notion of anything related to perfumes so to spare us all some posturing I won't even pretend to know anything about it. But I was at Comme des Garçons in NYC and idly sprayed this pink liquid onto my wrists. I was instantly transported back to my childhood visits to the botanica with my grandmother and the piles of herbs and resins and candles she'd bring home and set alight in our home as she prayed softly. Beautiful memories these are, and this fragrance, with it's notes of roses and frankincense and Catholica, gives me a most palpable sense of nostalgia in a very comforting way.