can i be a mongoose dog

(vintage dress, ann demeulemeester boots, necklace gift from meadham kirchhoff)

I may perpetually look morose in my blog photos, but I promise I'm actually a very happy lady! Inside, that's where it counts right? And I'm still stuck in that notion that not smiling means that I am Thoughtful and Pensive and Thinking Meaningful Thoughts. Really though, if you cracked open my brain, you'd find paisley-covered cupcakes waiting inside. My mind operates like Gir sometimes all the time. So while I wish I could be one of those intense types, the truth is, I turn into a puddle of goo whenever I see a cute puppy.

Anyway, I got this vintage dress recently and it makes me daydream about goth being around in the 70s. It's kind of a misfortunate that goth really came about during the 80s, which was probably one of the WORST decades for fashion. Could you imagine the kinds of vintage goth dresses that could have been made in the 60s and 70s?!



we used to talk on the phone

(secondhand fever ray t-shirt, venessa arizaga necklace, thrifted skirt, margiela shoes)

Believe it or not, I dress casually sometimes! This is my standard dressed-down outfit: band tee, easy skirt, interesting shoes. I'm obsessed with this paisley skirt I thrifted a couple weeks ago; it strangely has an Art Nouveau feel to it, maybe because of the colors. This Fever Ray tee is one of my most beloved articles of clothing I own because it has in incredible story and I don't believe I've shared it on this blog yet! Earlier this year I visited NYC for a long weekend to see some friends. My flight home from LaGuardia was delayed by several hours, so I wandered the terminal in search of some grub. As I examined some not-appetizing food from a mini deli, a gangly fellow wearing this Fever Ray t-shirt accidentally bumped into me. I remarked that I loved his shirt because Karin Dreijer Andersson is one of my biggest creative inspirations (and let's face it: Karin Dreijer makes Lady Gaga look like Sheryl Crow). At that point this guy said "oh, you can have this shirt if you want, I don't need it!" and proceeded to strip it off in the middle of the airport terminal! I was too stunned to say anything except "holy shit thank you oh my god!" Never did catch his name, but if he ever happens to be reading this, please know that this t-shirt was a wonderful gift and I am truly thankful!

The above photograph doesn't really show off the holographic finish on these Margiela shoes very well, so one this does so a bit better. They are rainbow explosions in the sunlight and always make me swoon. Iridescent is my favorite color.


the world becomes and swallows me

The new album by Beach House, Bloom, is one of those rare precious gems that comes about not quite so often, and does so with a whisper but it stays forever. Once this album has hold on you it doesn't let go. Within today's seeming desert of music that is captivating in its earnestness, Bloom is an album that subtly possesses your senses. No fancy gimmicks required. Just music dripping with so much emotion that it leaps out of every note and every one of Victoria Legrand's punctuating vocals.

The physical space that this album creates is both airy and carefree, but heavily grounded through Legrand's bassoon-like voice. Dream pop has always favored vocals that tend to sound distant, mixed within or under the distorted guitars. It's simply a part of the aesthetic; like shoegaze the end result was always to blast through "music" and create an idea through incoherency. But Legrand's accessible vocals cut through the haze and plants itself firmly into your heart, warming it, but still impressing on you a most powerful sense of yearning. This is an album that desperately desires a return to idyllic days that as adults, seem too long ago, and exists only in foggy memories. Often I think about being in my twenties and what that means and why everyone's twenties suck so much. Perhaps in part it's because it is based heavily in the reality that our childhood  is over forever, and that reality can be really difficult to apply to our changing lives. But Bloom captures that mood perfectly. It is at once a reminder of halcyon days tempered with the bittersweet goodbyes that come with growing up. 

I hate using hyperboles and I'm aware that I often do it, but I really think that Bloom may be one of my favorite albums of all time. I feel it my soul. It couldn't have entered my life at a more perfect time - I'm settling into adulthood but am reticent to relinquish control over my youthful desires and wishes and dreams...and maybe I shouldn't, maybe I'm not supposed to?, but I haven't figured out how to integrate them within my new life. That's part of the process, I think. So when I stare out a window and thoughts of my days coagulate into confusion, this album is my soundtrack. 

casper david freidrich/ tih ana/ giles resort fall 2013/ kirsten dunst in lula #11 by autumn de wilde/ hansel from basel fall 2012 lookbook/ paradis magazine #5/ natalie kucken/ hansel from basel fall 2012 lookbook 


orange appled

So the folks who run the Vintage Garage were nice enough to invite me to their little Buy Stuff Shindig. It's a seasonal vintage market held in a parking garage, which kind of makes sense as a venue, now that I think about it? I was really impressed with their wares and took home some goodies for myself, but there were many many more objects that I wish I could've given a forever home...

Vintage home ephemera; I'm really into anything vaguely French Provincial or Art Nouveau. 

Walking away from this clock was SO HARD.

Totally had to get a photo of this Mary Katrantzou Fall 2011 situation. Though since this is vintage, wouldn't it be more accurate to say that Mary Katrantzou was inspired by shit like this?

Morningstars: don't you wish you had one of these on hand for the next you are street harassed?

And finally, this mystical BunnyAngelUnicorn that I am totally throttling myself for not buying when I had the change. Completely polarizing, this thing either inspires hearts for eyes or vile disgust, and I am firmly in the former camp. *___*

I did buy this really fantastic Vagina N' Butt Fruit caftan dress. Also, I am an 8-year-old for immediately thinking of vaginas when I saw it. Wait, am I allowed to say vagina? Will this blog be censored?!


Also brought home a paint-by-number Jesus, because, obviously. I was most excited because it looks like He's in the video for Enjoy The Silence.

John found this fucking incredible Freemason ashtray.

I also got this emerald velvet coat that goes down past my ankles. Features bracelet-length sleeves and heavy silk lining. Clothes are just not made like this anymore! Also, it was a STEAL. Still kind of shock that I own something so beautiful, and for such an affordable price...! I never promote things on my bog because, ew, but I highly recommend that my Chicago-based readers check out this vintage sale. The next one is on July 15th and you can click here for more info.

And I wore my new vintage favorite dress, which I am lobbying to have featured on Rachel Maddow's Best New Thing in the World Today segment. It is so beautiful and floaty and makes me feel like I'm living in the world of Cocteau Twins meets Rodarte Fall 2011


this must be

(vintage dress from sleepy head vintage, miu miu shoes, necklace gift from meadham kirchhoff)

I don't have a whole lot to write tonight, because I am composing this post this well after my bed time. Yes, even as a resident of GrownUpLand, I still have a bed time! It is self-imposed of course, but I am a cranky morning mess if I do not have my sleep. Do not disturb.

Anyway, last night was Season of the Witch, a feminist night at Late Bar. I wore my most magickal vintage dress with spooky accessories for a Bat Princess ensemble. SOTW is so special and empowering so I wanted something that felt personally empowering to me - this dress makes me feel like Glinda, and the idea of traditional femininity as a device that can be used in reclaiming power is something that lately I find very appealing. Traditional femininity is a tool of the patriarchy only if we resign its power away; we don't have to give our power away, regardless of how feminine we choose to present ourselves.

I really enjoy the way the "pearls" on this dress resembles stars in the sky, and my bat necklace paired with these stars felt like the right thing to do. A way to reference nighttime while still wearing dusty pink.


wanna play

Carnivals are weird. It's this impossibly bizarre attempt to create something so hyperfun, but it ends up becoming this creepy gilded thing, and the creepiness isn't even hidden very well. As kids we tend to accept things at face value, because we lack the foresight to explore things more abstractly, but GROWING UP! Man, it really helps you see how fucked up things really are. One of my favorite aesthetic activities is seeing something, REALLY seeing it, for it's horrors and beauty and how much energy the beauty expends in effort to hide the horror. Oftentimes that's the most fascinating part.

Like this freakishly terrifying "funhouse". What is so fun about a building being on fire?!

This ferris wheel was nonfunctional and was surrounded by a crew of bored-looking workers.

Counterfeit Donkey Kong and Casper toys.

A very racist ride, made even weirder by the fact that it is called "1001 Nachts."

I wore a vintage dress, Madewell boots, Rodarte x OC bag, and Givenchy glasses. Felt like the glasses really accented the strangeness of this dress, and my surroundings in general.



 (vintage dress, hot topic necklace, alexander wang shoes)

So I bought this dress a long while ago from Very Best Vintage, which I used live to nearby, but sadly now is no longer within walking distance. Note the Good Catholic Girl vibes and Adele steez and high resemblance to Prada  Fall 2008 (one of my favorite collections of all time omg SO INSPIRING); this is what sold me! As it is my policy to (for the most part) only post outfits which am I wearing IN REAL LIFE, it has taken a few months for it to be posted. But on Friday, the boyfriend and I decided to go on a mini-date to Longman & Eagle. Which as it so happens, I now live literally around the corner from! Do you like french fries fried in beef fat? Do you like whiskey drinks with more mixers than are stars in the sky? Do you like getting extremely intoxicated on a patio for hours while noshing on gastro food that does NOT call itself ~*artisanal*~? Than L&E is probably the place for you! 

In 20 years, everything in vintage and thrift stores are going to be made from shitty jersey cotton. So let's enjoy super well-made vintage garments while we can! This dress fits me perfectly and the fabric is very heavy and well-made. It's saddening to consider that clothing today isn't made with the same quality as before, yet the prices, when adjusted for inflation, have remained the same. I hope to give this wonderful dress many more years of happy wear.


not my moment

(dress from through the looking glass vintage, secondhand horace swiderweb knit, madewell boots)

This has truly been the spring of my discontent. My listlessness knows no reason, no rhyme, no purpose, it has just settled over me like a veil, a magnet for dust upon my creativity. That changed yesterday. It was cold and raining and the wind that darted across the lake caused my bones to rattle unceremoniously, having been accustomed to the icy chill. But it was as if a productivity switch was turned in my brain; I spent the day relishing this burst of inspiration I was feeling, and have resolved to make my summer an artistically meaningful one. This means more hours labored over my laptop, writing and spilling out the darkest things I've known, clearing out the cobwebs of my early twenties. It is an attic of memories that make me tremble.

This dress is probably from the 90's. The inner lining was trimmed to my knees giving the bottom half of the dress a ghostly transparency. A neat little DIY to keep in the back of one's mind.

Tiny roses are blooming in my backyard. I am taking strength from their vitality.