been circling around for 27 years

When I first moved to Chicago, I was running away and I don't like to admit that to myself, but it's true. I would never ever advocate running away from your problems but sometimes, sometimes, physical distance can help. I had no friends upon my arrival but quickly settled into a scene that would become my home - Chicago's passionate crowd of Britpop and shoegaze devotees. Each month for almost the past 5 years, I eagerly awaited the Panic! dance party where we could dance to Blur and never feel judged by anyone. And on Saturday my boyfriend and I went to the very last Panic! held at Darkroom, which is sadly closing in a few days. John and I met at Darkroom when I was just 21 and his band Airiel was playing a show, so it's a very special place and we'll miss it dearly.

(mandy coon top, opening ceremony skirt from ebay, venessa arizaga necklace, alexander wang shoes)

Saying goodbye to Panic! was incredibly bittersweet because sometimes the most meaningful things become greater than themselves when they die. Remembering all of the times Morgan and I danced to "Bittersweet Symphony", I took inspiration from the Verve for my outfit. Both that song and A Storm in Heaven which is the Verve's psychedelic debut album and a hidden gem from 90s alternative rock. A Storm in Heaven is hugely inspirational to me because of the way its songs are somber yet full of light, hollow-sounding yet a conjurer of worlds that don't exist, simply through Nick McCabe's haunting guitar.

I fell in love with this skirt because it reminded me of the music video for "Bittersweet Symphony", both in the colors and the way the falling leaves project a feeling of melancholy.