(rodarte x opening ceremony cardigan, aa blouse and skirt, spanx socks, alexander wang boots, thrift store bag, spike necklace from a fetish shop)

It is a rather curious feeling to dress angsty, but not feel angsty. There was a time in my life, sure, when the world as it exists just filled me with an inordinate amount of hate that I couldn't wait to direct at the nearest pillow or angry teen poem. But getting older has mellowed out my rage into something akin to cosmic background radiation. Forever minutely pervasive, just barely detactable beyond my everyday consciousness. Nowadays I'm interested in solutions vs. problems and allies vs. enemies. After all, the world is an impossible place in which to be a woman. Is it really necessary to make it harder for yourself? And by extension, the other women with whom we share a society that does not regard us as equals? Looking back on my younger days, I'm ashamed of my shit-talking and self-loathing and painful vulnerabilities and undeniable hypocrisy. But growing up wouldn't be as special if I didn't learn something along the way. The world is a horrifically unjust place, and there will always be something to be angry about. Anger in of itself doesn't solve problems. Real-world solutions and motivation an interpersonal connections and yes, idealism!, are the the only things that will help.


meg // morningmidnight.com said...

word on this. there's also this thing that the internet does to me constantly that drives me nuts where people feel this need to psychoanalyze/project on to me based on these weird assumptions from my clothes -- like that i'm "dark and depressed and angsty and unhappy" or that i'm "slutty and desperate for attention," which they feel totally cool telling me about? which i never really understand because like -- there's a lot of me that comes through in how i dress but a lot of it is fun, or a game, or an image, or you know, performative, and doesn't really say a lot about my psychology -- which isn't really anyone's public business anyhow!

okay going off on rant here NEVERMIND, but there's something there about the separation between how you dress and how you 'actually are' and how people choose to perceive you based on that.

wobblinbetty said...

you might not feel angsty....but you look terrific anyway darling.
It is curious but it is the second post about "grown up" feelings and issues that I find in less than 24 hrs. Loving your words, very thought-provoking.

Isabel said...

You are wonderful and totally worthy of hero-worship. I'm really into radical community-building, freeganism etc. Not for everyone but I'd like to think its about making the world a better place on your own terms.

meagan said...

@meg that is EXACTLY it. people so strongly associate someone's clothes with who they are "as a person", which completely depreciates the idea that humans are complex people who can't be defined. i like to think of outfits as snapshots of a person's personality, meant to be viewed for its own individual merit in a very specific moment in time. and these snapshots don't need to congruent with all or even some of the whole of ourselves.

@wobblinbetty thanks! please link to the other post about growing up, would love to read it!

@isabel thanks bb <3 it's a shame when people waste their talents on hating and being angry and doing nothing constructive. it doesn't help anyone. i love the idea of community-building too, it's important that people feel like they belong to something greater than themselves in order to affect change to world around them.

you guys are amazing blogfriends. ilu.

Nav said...

love this look, it's a lot of fun!



Mat said...

holy moses indeed. well my teens were sucky but i learnt to make the best of a shite situation, and i'm stronger for it now. although i didn't really got though the whole emotion phases even though things which were associated with that did very much interest me. saying that, i just used to go play football and get drunk on the park

brodie said...

this is amazing. This picture and your outfit are just so good I can't even finish this sente

Amy Creyer said...

I love the way you talk about outfits as snapshots of a person in time. You're absolutely right - we define the clothing, the clothing doesn't define us.

I am happy to hear you speaking about positive ways to effect change. Anger can be healthy if it motivates you to engage in positive action. Focusing on the good in the world isn't about ignoring the bad, it's about ensuring that one's energy is spent as productively as possible.


Amy Creyer said...

Oh, and duh - the Rodarte cardigan is insane! Way more versatile than the dress. Versatility is why I ended up purchasing the brocade cape.

Magnet said...

You're right hating on a lot of shit and being angry all the time usually leads people to un intentionally do the things they so despise. Even though anger solves nothing I can't help but feel that way quite often... however, I think my reasons for being angry are quite appropriate. What I can't stand is people my age complaining and whining about things that really aren't even that bad.

Also, I was reading the above comments and yes people really do judge too harshly based on the way one dresses. Before a lot of people get to know me they assume I'm intimidating, pretentious, cold etc when I'm the complete opposite. It's so frustrating because even though I am into fashion and such I don't judge people and I have a lot of friends that would be considered unstylish.

Oh and before I forget, love the outfit! I have the same shirt and spiked necklace and I love them both :) oh and I'm a big fan of dark lipstick too.

wobblinbetty said...

here's the link darling www.indivisualism.com/2011/08/getting-old.html
Petra's post tickles another aspect of the "getting old" issue but still it's interesting point of view.

Chelsey - MORTUAIRE said...

just discovered your blog, how did i not follow you before? you're awesome and i love it

Brandon said...

I love this post because it's in a very similar vein to the way I dress. I may dress in a happy way when I am upset to cheer me up or in a more, perhaps aggressive way. In the end though it is all just clothing and we're all just trying to remove the hidden meanings of everything.